


Crazier

by Femvamp



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: F/F, Post-Season/Series 01 Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-18 17:06:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5936244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Femvamp/pseuds/Femvamp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Piper knows she can't fix crazy but maybe she can fix things between her and Alex before its too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Once again season 1 fic because I haven't been able to write anything for this fandom since since. Plus some writers block but hey I like this story so I am posing it here.

Piper Chapman sat on the cold, hard floor of the SHU. She had been taken there immediately after she had been questioned. They had removed her clothing until she was almost naked except for her bra and underwear. They had put the rest of her clothes into brown paper bags as evidence before giving her new cloths to wear. They had left her sitting in a cold room for a long time before more people had been brought in to question her; questions that had gone on for hours.

They were charging her with murder.

Well, they would be if Pennsatucky died, The last Piper had heard was that she was being operated on. God, Piper laughed at the irony, she was praying to God, she hoped that stupid hillbilly lived.

Piper just wanted to see Alex again and tell her how sorry she was. She had made a mistake in choosing Larry. She didn't want the guy who knew when to order Chinese she wanted adventure. She wanted the tall, hot girl who made her crazy.

She wanted to go back and do it all over again.

God help her she'd do it all the same.

That was the sad and pathetic thing. Piper realized there was nothing in her life she would have changed. Even finding Larry for a while was something good, but now with Alex back in her life all she could see was her.

Only Alex.

She tried to picture her life with Larry and everything becomes fuzzy and impossible to grab onto. The idea of Larry was a good one. A good man; and he was a good man and he would be a good husband but she could not see him, not clearly.

Alex she could see. She could see them running on some distant beach; hand in hand. Laughing. Fucking. And laughing again. She could even see them raising a family together.

Why couldn't she see that with Larry?

Piper knew it was a moot point if Pennsatucky died; She would be moved to Max and she would be given a life sentence. She would never see Alex again. Larry might have waited a year but twenty? Piper laughed at the thought.

No, even she wasn't vain enough to think he would wait that long, even if he still loved her. If Pennsatucky died her future died with her. Piper knew she should call her lawyer, but she didn't really want to speak with Larry's father who never really liked her anyway. No, this way was better. Maybe she would get lucky and Pennsatucky would wake up and tell them all about Healy and Piper would be allowed to stay at Litchfield. Piper knew they would charge her with something, they had to but maybe it would be something small, a few years and not a few decades.

Maybe she would be alright.

Maybe she could still be with Alex.

Maybe they could still have their future.

Piper stood up as she heard the door of her cell begin to open...


	2. Chapter 2

She had been given a new lawyer.

Her mother had insisted that Larry's father not be her lawyer because of everything that had gone on between the two of them. It was the first sign in a long time that her mother actually cared and took her side. It was the first time that she understood the ramifications of what was going on. Even if she started calling Alex "Super Cunt.".

Piper would have found it funny if it wasn't so damn scary. She had been charged with manslaughter. She had actually killed Pennsatucky. The newspapers had a field day.

Both Pennsatucky and she had been big stories themselves and together they were huge. The lesbian WASP with a male fiance who murdered a hillbilly meth head Jesus freak in a minimum security prison. News at 10. The prison tried to keep it quiet but when a video of Healy walking away from the altercation hit the internet the shit hit the fan.

It did however also convict PIper. It was kind of hard to dispute the footage of her hitting Pennsatucky over and over and over again once she had hit the ground and was most definitely incapacitated.

Five years she ended up getting added to her sentence. It was better than 10...better then 20. Her lawyer was able to persuade the judge not to send her to Psyche or to Max. So she was headed back to Litchfield. He had convinced the judge that sending her back to her original prison was the best option for everyone involved. Her lawyer was a convincing son a bitch. He had told a convincing little diddy about how she should never have been in prison in the first place and that her former almost father in law had given her bad legal advice by telling her to take the plea. God, how she loved her new lawyer. She told her mother to keep him on retainer.

Just in case.

Her mother had looked at her funny but nodded.

Just in case.

This time there would be no self surrendering. She would be heading from court straight to jail to start her shiny new sentence. She didn't tell her family that she would be spending the first six weeks in SHU. She didn't want to worry them. Polly was the only one she told. Then again Polly was the only one who had always known the truth of her; or enough of the truth. Just enough.

"I had my lawyer set up the papers for the business, I signed it over to you. You own it all now Polly."

"No, Pipes. I don't want it." Polly cried as she watched the police hand cuff Piper, "It was ours. It was supposed to be ours."

"Then sign it back to me in five years, eight months and three days." Piper said as she was walked out of the room and then whispered to herself, "Give or take."

Piper wanted to see Alex again but knew that wasn't going to happen at least not until her time in SHU was over. Time passed excruciating slowly. She wondered why people didn't go crazy; and then realized that people actually did go crazy. That was the point. The guards let her out once a week to shower; handcuffed and under guard but that was it. Other than that she spent the whole time in a small windowless room with no one to talk to, with only herself for company.

If Piper believed in Hell this would be her description of it.

Forget Hellfire and brimstone.

Sitting in silence with nothing but your own thoughts to keep you company. Nothing but your own regrets.

Silence.

That was Hell.

And the food sucked.

Piper laughed when she thought about her first days at Litchfield and how Red had tried to starve her out. She now wished for some of Red's food. She wondered if Red got her kitchen back. She liked the other lady's cooking but it was too spicy for her. Red's cooking was better.

Maybe she would tell her that when she got out. That would make Red smile.

There were so many things she wanted to tell so many people.

So many regrets.

Piper had time though. Five years to fix things.

Five years seven months and...


	3. Chapter 3

Piper never knew that the simple act of breathing fresh air could feel so good. Six weeks in SHU felt like forever. Walking out into the bright sunlight felt like being born again; and maybe in a way it was.

Things had changed.

Everything had changed.

She knew she was facing a long prison sentence. Much longer than the initial fifteen months. Now she would be in Litchfield for at least five years. According to her shiny new lawyer (who would be on her family's Christmas card list, forever) she could be out in four if she managed to not kill anyone or get into any prison fights in that time.

That was why she signed over the fledgling company to Polly. She held no illusions for her future. She still held a few shares of the company; enough so that she got a paycheck each month put into her bank account but there was no way that Polly should or for that matter could come to her with every decision that needed to be made.

Morello was the first friendly face Piper saw when she stepped outside the segregation unit. The snow was starting to melt but the air was still cold and crisp Piper hurried to the van and smiled as she got inside. It was a short drive between the two structures but it seemed to take forever. It helped a little that Morello talked up a storm.

"You missed alot while you were in SHU. Healy got fired. Heard his wife left him. Didn't know he was married. I think it was to a Russian. Red told me that. Red got her kitchen back." Morello paused for a moment, "Vause was climbing a wall waiting for you. For two people who aren't together you two sure act like you are together. Not that I am judging or nothing."

"Is she ok?" Piper asked.

"You're asking about her?" Morello asked simply, "You are the one who killed someone and ended up with a longer sentence. How long by the way?"

"Five years."

"That sucks."

"Yeah."

"Well..." Morello smiled, "Your girl is fine and she is waiting for you inside."

Piper smiled as the van stopped. She felt all the nerves in her body overheat and her stomach do flip flops. What would she do if Alex didn't forgive her? She knew that they had left things on bad terms but she wasn't sure what she would do now if Alex wouldn't speak to her.

Piper looked up at the looming structure and took a deep breath as she walked inside. Everything had remained mostly the same. She knew it would. Litchfield wasn't the kind of place that changed. Even when it did; it didn't, The first person she saw was Pornstache glaring at her. She ignored him because she had more important things to worry about.

"Hey Chapman, you got out." Nichols smiled at her.

"Where's Alex?" Piper asked.

"Laundry." Nichols said simply, "Hey Chapman, that thing between us was a one time thing, Ok. I know she is your girl."

Piper just nodded taking Nichols statement for what it was and went looking for Alex. It didn't take her long to make her way to the laundry room. The room was mostly empty since the work hours were almost over. There were only a few people left, Alex was one of them. Piper paused for a moment and stood there and watched Alex for a moment before she entered the laundry.

"Everyone, Get out!"

Piper was only a little surprised when just about everyone in the room began to scatter. One of the white prisoners nodded at her and told her that she would stand guard. Piper recognized her as one of Big Boo's friends but didn't know her name. She just thanked her and then looked back at Alex.

"Piper, the fuck?"

"I am taking advantage of everyone being afraid of me." Piper smiled at Alex and then walked over to her until she was mere inches away, "What about you? Are you afraid of me?"

"No." Alex said simply.

"Are you angry at me?"

"Yes."

Piper brushed her hand along Alex's arm seductively, "Do you want to fuck me anyway?"

"Oh God yes..."


	4. Chapter 4

It was strange the way people looked at Piper now that she had killed someone. The guards looked at her warily. It was almost like they thought she was going to blow at any minute and go on a rampage. She was nothing more than a thug to them now. They went out of their way to know where she was at all times. Her job assignment had been changed; there was no way she would be allowed near anything that could be used as a weapon. They ended up putting her in the laundry with Alex which amused both of them. She also found out she had lost her dorm assignment and hadn't been put in a new one yet. Nichols told her that was normal after a long stint in SHU. She probably wouldn't get a bunk for several months.

Among the other inmates her reputation went up tenfold. Even Red looked at her differently. Piper still had no idea what Red did to get put in prison but the rumor had it she was connected; as in Russian Mob connected; so Piper didn't really want to know. The other prisoners gave her a wide birth at first but pretty quickly they started coming to her for advice which confused her. It was Taystee who told her that she was tough shit now which made her a big fish and that got her respect. She could have her own crew if she wanted one. Prison was a weird place and had weird rules. In a matter of months she had gone from Taylor Swift to tough shit and she wasn't sure if that was a good thing.

Piper stuck with Red's people. It was better that way. She liked them anyway and now that they were looking at her differently her life got easier. Piper did end up commenting on how she had missed Red's food and Red did smile. Losing the kitchen had hurt her and now she was back in her element.

Strangely enough everything seemed to be back to normal in Piper's world. It shouldn't have been but it was. Her time passed slowly but not painfully like it did before. She had Alex to keep her company and she had friends.

She finally did get her bed assignment and was happy to discover that this time she was going into the white suburbs. She just hoped it wasn't with anyone from Tiffany's old crew. That was the last thing she needed.

"Hey Chapman, guess whose luck is holding out for a change." Nichols said walking up to her as she walked through the area called the white suburbs.

"What do you mean?"

"You didn't see who your roommate is?"

"Please tell me it isn't one of the Jesus freaks."

"No, not one of the Jesus freaks." Alex smiled at her from her dorm and then moved away to reveal an empty bed, "My Jesus freak roommate got parole last week."

"And guess who is her new bed buddy?" Nichols grinned. "Just keep the noise down some of us like to sleep at night."

Piper tried not to blush. She knew nothing could happen in the dorms. It was too open, for God sake. Someone was always watching. That didn't mean her heart wasn't doing flips at the thought of sharing a living space with Alex again. They would have time to talk. They would have time to just be together.

Piper smiled at Alex, "So roomy, where do I put my stuff?"

Piper's mother came to visit on a regular basis and she always had interesting stories to tell. Piper realized that she had never really known her mother at all. She knew that her mother didn't have to come to see her; plenty of mothers didn't. Piper had asked once why she still came to visit and her mother simply told her to hush, that she was her daughter and then went on to talk about her day.

A few months into her new sentence Piper found out that her mother had made friends with Suzanne's parents. Her mother actually scolded her for being cruel to "Crazy Eyes" and for giving Larry that nasty story about that nice girl with the nice parents.

She was also the one who told Piper that Larry had gotten engaged again to a Jewish girl.

"Are you jealous?" Alex had asked when Piper had told her about Larry's engagement.

"Yes. " Piper paused, "No. Maybe. I don't know."

"I get it. You two had this whole big future planned together and then you came in here and..."

They were talking in the chapel together and Piper just wanted to talk to Larry. It was strange. She had been in prison for over a year now and hadn't spoken to Larry since she had been convicted of manslaughter but now she just wanted to see him again. She didn't want to talk about this with Alex. She wanted Larry.

"I just need to see Larry. I..."

"Piper." Alex said even though her heart was breaking, "I understand."

"Then explain why I don't."


	5. Chapter 5

It had taken a few weeks but Piper had managed to get in contact with Larry again. It surprised her that he wasn't surprised to hear from her. It had been over a year after all since she had heard from him last. They spoke on the phone a few times and finally Larry had agreed to come visit her and Piper put him back on her list. It was a month after Piper had heard that Larry had gotten engaged that she saw him again.

Piper Chapman was still in love with Larry Bloom.

When she saw him sitting there she was sure of it. It was almost like no time had gone by for her. He looked exactly like she remembered him. He dressed the same. He smiled the same. She wondered if he smelled the same. Piper had always liked the way he smelled.

"Hey Pipes." Larry stood up and hugged her.

"No touching the inmates." Mendez shouted out.

"Shut up Mendez. I haven't seen him in a year."

"Not my problem Chapman. Hands where I can see them."

Piper turned to the guard and wiggled her fingers and then lowered all but the middle ones on both hands but then lowered those too and turned back to Larry. Larry noticed the guard look at Piper harshly.

"Why did you do that? Isn't he going to punish you now?" Larry whispered as they both sat down.

"Pornstache is an ass." Piper said simply, "He'll cop and extra feel when I go back in but it probably won't be more than that."

"And you are ok with that?"

Piper shrugged "Its prison. You get used to it." She paused, "But I didn't ask you here to talk about me. I hear congratulations are in order."

Larry frowned, "Who told you?"

"My mother."

"Oh course she did." Larry grimaced, 'I don't think she ever really liked me."

"And your father never really liked me. So we made the perfect pair."

"Didn't we though?" Larry smiled, "I just..."

"When I heard you got engaged again I was a little pissed then I realized something. I did the math, I'd be getting out about now if I hadn't...gotten the extra time. We'd be the ones getting married. I think that was why I was so upset."

"I'm sorry Piper. I wanted to tell you I just didn't know how."

"Does she make you happy?"

"Not as happy as you made me, but she is..."

"What?"

"Safe." Larry laughed under his breath, "I guess she is my Larry. The safe Alex. The one you want to love but don't."

"I loved you Larry. I still do. I always will."

"Then why?"

"Because I would never be enough for you." Piper paused, "I would cheat on you eventually. I would get arrested again. I would...If it wasn't Alex it would be someone else. It's not that you're not enough, Larry. I'm not enough." Piper paused again. "Love this woman whoever she is. Make her happy. Forget about me."

"I could wait for you."

Piper took Larry's hand and smiled. She knew that Mendez would do more then cop an extra feel for so much unauthorized touching but she didn't care, "Tell this woman if she hurts you I know people now."

Larry chuckled, "I think that is my line. You ARE the people in that sentence."

Piper smiled trying really hard not to cry, "Send me pictures of the wedding."

"And Alex?"

"Alex is the one true thing i have left in the rotten place."

Larry paused, "Tell her that if she hurts you I know people."

"I think that's me."

Larry laughed, "Actually Crazy Eyes still would like to be your wife so she'd do it for a Pepsi."

Piper laughed, "Don't tell me things like that. Wait, you talk to Suzanne?"

"Your mother made me apologize to her for my radio program. She is actually a nice girl. You could do worse."

"And we both know I have."

"Hey!" Larry said, "Wait am I the worse or is Alex?"

Piper just smiled and stood up to leave. Mendez was calling for all the inmates to leave the visiting room. Piper turned to Larry and smiled, "Give my love to the future Mrs. Bloom." Before Larry could respond she turned around and headed for the door.

Piper turned around when Larry shouted, "Is Alex enough?"

Piper paused for a moment realizing the truth. Alex was enough. That was the difference between Larry and her. That would always be the difference. She never wanted more than to be with Alex. Just to be. Piper nodded at Larry and then headed through the door.

Piper Chapman was no longer in love with Larry Bloom.


	6. Chapter 6

Piper walked out of the visiting room with a sense of freedom that was unexpected. It was like a weight had been lifted off of her. She had felt bad about how things ended with Larry. She hadn't lied to him, there was a part of her that would always love him she just wasn't in love with him. Thinking back Piper wasn't sure she ever was.

He gave her the attention she needed when she needed it. He made her feel special. He made her feel safe. Larry would always drop everything when she called and be there to make her smile. He was different from Alex in that way. Alex was selfish. She was even occasionally cruel. She was fire and she burned bright. Sometimes too bright. It scared Piper how much she burned and how much Piper burned when they were together.

"Did you see him?" Alex sat on her bed reading one the books she got out of the library.

"Yes."

"How did it go?"

Piper sat down on her own bed not wanting to get too close to Alex. Needing the distance to say what she wanted to say. Needing Alex to understand. "We had a long talk. I told him that I was happy for him."

"So is he going to marry this woman?"

Piper smiled, "It wouldn't be right for him to wait another four or five years for me to get out, even if I wanted him to."

"Do you want him to?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I want you Alex." Piper paused, "I know I fuck it up at every opportunity but you are what I want. You are what I have always wanted."

"Piper?"

"No, listen." Piper said simply, "It isn't just because we are in here. It's not just because you are here and he isn't. I want you because you are here." Piper pointed to her chest; to her heart "and he isn't. You have always been here." Piper paused and then went over to Alex's bed kneeling at her feet, "I want you because I want you."

Piper was so focused on Alex that she hadn't noticed they had gathered a crowd. Several inmates include Big Boo, Nichols and Morello had gathered to watch the scene play out however Piper was too intent on finishing what she had started to let them derail her now.

"I will spend the rest of my time here proving that to you Alex. I will spend the rest of my life proving it to you. I only want you."

Piper smiled at her and then began to stand up but as she got to her feet Alex pulled her back down and then whispered in her ear, "You break my heart again I will kill you."

Piper smiled as she felt the heated breath of the woman she loved against her cheek. That is when she also felt the hot tears. This was prison where no one ever was allowed to see you cry so she turned her head and kissed Alex on her closed eyelids making sure that all the tears disappeared.

"Hey what's going on here. There is no gathering among the inmates." Mendez came walking down the hallway.

Everyone started to walk away but Piper could swear she heard a few murmurs as they went. Piper pulled away from Alex not wanting either of them to get into trouble. They would have more time to talk later. When Mendez got to their cube he just glared at them and then shook his head but walked away.

"So, must have been one hell of a talk you had with Larry." Alex said simply.

"It was." Piper smiled, "Seriously did you know my family has taken to hanging out with Suzanne's family?"

"Really?"

"We have got to find her a new wife before they marry me off to her." Piper said exasperated,. "I mean you date one woman..." Piper eyes lit up as Alex laughed, "Maybe we should set her up with Nichols."

"Did I hear my name?" Nichols stood at the opening of the cube and looked on questioning as both Alex and Piper laughed uncontrollable. "What? What?"

Piper didn't know why but for the first time she felt at peace. Even standing in the middle of a prison with a long sentence ahead of her she was happy. It made no sense. It shouldn't have been so but it was true.

She was happy.

"What I say?" Nichols laughed too.

THE END.


End file.
